On being irked, called and shepherded…
Today in church at the end of the service, the lady I was sitting beside politely leaned over and asked me if my ‘work’ was continuing over the summer. The implication was that she thought I was still working with YFC in the drop-in centre. It irks me that so many people – people from my church and from the local Christian community who are ‘supposed’ to support Christian outreach around them – just have no clue about me, what I’ve been through or the work that YFC has done in their town. I get really frustrated with the lack of awareness and apathy despite all efforts to change that. I often feel let down and not very well cared for here. I know that my attitude demonstrates a lack of grace on my part, but I’m human and this is honestly the way I feel. I’ve missed being at Summer Madness this weekend as well having been at the last 6 and leading groups of young people to the last 3. But I know it just would have been too hard to be there – too painful, too many memories, the vast majority good ones I hasten to add, but not being a part of things anymore is just hard. Maybe there will be other years, I don’t know. But I guess I just I have to let go of everything and be big enough to move on … God has a lot of work to do with me yet!-----------
A friend was sharing with me her calling and how she’s learnt that overwork does not necessarily help her fulfil that calling. She believes that the ministry organisation she is part of won’t in itself make it to heaven, but God-willing the people reached through it will. The important thing for her is to be faithful to her calling and the ministry should always remain as the vehicle for that outreach and that calling. If it begins to block what people are called to do, then there’s a problem. The Messiah complex is rather rampant in Christian ministries these days, I’ve only realised that as a result of my burnout and having had my eyes opened to my own incorrect thinking in this area. But the conversation with my friend has also made me think again about my calling – what the heck is it? … Show me the way Jesus.
-----------
Last night I was reading Psalm 23 and remembering back to one particular weekend in June last year when God kept bringing this psalm to my attention. I just knew that there was a valley coming up, I didn’t know exactly what it would be, but I knew I was about walk through one. That weekend I was working flat-out on an essay for my Masters course struggling to meet yet another deadline, I was stressed out about work stuff and personal stuff, and the whole weekend I just kept breaking down into tears, weeping my way through the tasks I had to get on with.
But I realised afresh last night that all the time God has been shepherding me, even in the days before and during the valley, and still now coming out of the valley and heading for pastures new. It is not without good reason that David wrote this psalm in the present tense… because we’re all being shepherded by our heavenly Father. A couple of the phrases in my Bible-reading notes have helped to deepen my understanding and show that the psalm actually highlights our current position:
- As God makes us lie down in green pastures and leads us beside quiet waters (v.2), we are in the right place to receive God’s gracious provision, and
- As He guides us in paths of righteousness (v.3b) we are therefore on the path God has planned for us.
If I take this on board then God will reveal his calling on my life at the right time and in the right place, it’ll come. And no matter what, the Father is close at hand and He’s the one in control.
posted by Debs Erwin @ 20:59
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home