Valley of Burnout

Trying to wait

I don’t really know where I am these days. Another kind of limbo-land I guess. I think the thing that’s missing is joy. But then if I spoke to someone who lost their entire family in the tsunami, joy would be an alien concept, so is it right for me to moan that I have no joy? On the other hand, although my goal in life is not happiness, ultimately my purpose is to "Glorify God and enjoy him forever". But it seems like I have to muster up a lot of energy and willpower for that. The future still scares me rather than excites me. All I see are obstacles and difficult decisions ahead. I’m still scared to dream. Is this the way it’s going to be? Do I just have to be content and muddle on through?

This week I’ve got stuck into Philip Yancey’s "Where is God when it hurts?" – brilliant stuff as always. Here are some statements that stand out so far:

"We somehow hope to live full emotional lives when we have carefully expunged the sources of the deepest human emotions. When you have no experience of pain, it is rather hard to experience joy." (Yancey)

"Everything that’s worthwhile in life is scary. Choosing a school, choosing a career, getting married, having kids – all those things are scary. If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile." (Paul Tournier)

"What is it, therefore, that goes on within the soul, since it takes greater delight if things that it loves are found of restored to it than if it had always possessed them?…Everywhere a greater joy is preceded by a greater suffering." (Augustine, Confessions)

"If I spend my life searching for happiness through drugs, comfort and luxury, it will elude me…Happiness will come upon me unexpectedly as a by-product, a surprising bonus for something I have invested myself in. And, most likely, that investment will include pain. It is hard to imagine pleasure without it." (Yancey)

So to conclude, maybe I need to let God have the last word and give him room to do whatever he wants…he hasn’t finished the story yet.

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and take heart
And wait for the Lord.
(Psalm 27:13-14)

posted by Debs Erwin @ 15:22